This past weekend, Craig and I quietly celebrated a year of remission from AML. With that comes a deluge of emotions, many of them conflicting. In hindsight, I was not too terrible at dealing with the active physical fight through AML. When the choices are live or die you do whatever it is you have to do to live, right?
The physical battle was intense but relatively quick compared to those that many others face. So perhaps I had an inkling that with such an unexpected diagnosis and fast paced, intensive treatment might come a longer mental battle. And it has been. For the first time in my life, I’ve given myself the time and space to pick apart and process all of the thoughts and emotions that have come up.
As my hair grows back, as my life goes on (thank goodness) people stop asking how I’m doing because there isn’t anything physical to see. There are no tubes hanging out of my arm. However, there are plenty of emotions hanging on my heart. [Read more…]