As many of you know, my worst fears were realized on September 21st. My leukemia is back and I need a bone marrow or stem cell transplant to have a chance at living through the next year. After just over a year of remission, I received that life altering phone call and well, here we go again.
Remission always haunted me because you have something to lose. Being in active treatment, my brain recognizes it as being the cornered animal when the only choice you have is to fight like heck or die. And perhaps mentally I thrive with having nothing to lose (well, everything to lose but also everything to gain) versus sitting around praying something sticks.
From that phone call to hospital admission I had about 72 hours to process my emotions, tell our family and tell our kids. To plan backup help from friends and neighbors, squeeze in a high and low filled family day and pack for a 4-6 week stay at UCSD La Jolla for another induction chemotherapy in the hopes of remission. [Read more…]